I M BACK!!!

I'm back bitches.. I'm back. But I hate to come back now cuz I'm not feeling good right now. I'm in deep shit. So many things happening around me, I'm like I'm in the very core of this shitty problems and these shit are all tangled up on me. Every fingers are pointing on me and I feel like I shouldnt even have brought into this world from the very beginning. I have shut myself down for a few days. More bad news coming in, more fingers pointing at me, and finally, I ve decided that I ain't gonna take it just like that. I m still clearing my thoughts on what I m going to do next. But there is one thing I ve got to do. I need a makeover. Hell, yes, I do.

I ve been in a living hell for a week now. I have not been eating well, and sleeping well. My eyebags are black as hell, and I look like a train wreck. Whenever I am in deep shit, I want to dress up, This is my way of handling the stress other than eating. My fashion sense obviously is deeply affected by goth and when I check out my wardrobe again, I only found black, red, purple and magenta. It makes me a little more depressed looking at the colors. And for the very first time in my life, I freaking feel like wearing a floral dress. I checked my bank balance. Not much left. My hand phone is out of service right now for overdue payment and I am going to settle it tomorrow. There are still some left after I settle my bill. Before all of that, I need to get a proper hair cut cuz my hair is at its worst state right now like amy winehouse's hair is busted by stray dogs. So here is my plan for tomorrow.

1. First and foremost, I gotta get a proper hair cut in which I will look like a god damn goddess just come out from the freaking heaven and super gorgeous and fabulous and glamorous. Yes, I am joking.

2. I ll do a little bit of shopping, and I want to try a more versatile and different look from what I used to wear, a bit more funky or may be a bit more classy or may be a bit more edgy. And I want to step out of my comfort zone a little bit and show off. But for sure, I ll look damn good tomorrow.

3. To settle all my problems one after another, because its not one , not two or not even three. There are a lot of things I have to do and I gotta do it quick. First my phone bill, second my Internet bill, third, to get my mails from old house from where I just moved out . Fourth, To change all the mailing address for bill. Fifth, to submit an effing Root Cause Analysis at my work. Sixth, the last but not the least, things that I dont think I can do it for the moment, I ll just let it go and I ll relaxed and chill. I wont torture my mind thinking about problems that are out of my reach.

4. I will definitely bring back my swaggering attitude, my dont-care posture to my walk and I ll be myself again. Yes, I have freaking attitude problem. Tell me you r ok with that, honey. :) haha!!

Well, that's pretty much I want to do for tomorrow. I'm gonna fly. I will look good and totally i ll make sure that I feel good too. I will not let anybody stand in my way and affect my mood tomorrow. I am excited with ecstasy now. I cant wait to be me again, I cant wait to show them off. I ll just laid-back and chill in the evening , may be having a great dinner and be a bit tipsy with my chit thaw friend. GOOD IDEA????? I am sure it is a bloody brilliant idea. I will have another blog post in the evening I guess about the experience that I encounter the whole day. Never In my life, I have to face with so many problems at the same damn time. And I m going to handle it good and have my own way. Watch me rock tomorrow people!!

Below is my fav of the moment, MIKA, grace kelly lyrics, watch and learn, alrighty??

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

You think I will call you back if u walk out of my door, No , I will never. So many people leaving me at the same damn time, and I thought it hurts me a lot. And now I realized they are letting go a god's gift to them, they are refusing a blessing, they are throwing away a good friend and the best person to understand them someone to be by their side when they are down. It is just their luck. It is a long entry this time. I enjoyed writing this post. Thanks.